Timshel

Have you ever had a moment where a totally normal and regular event suddenly leaves you flooded with memories and emotions?

I was emptying the dishwasher.  I knew they were clean because the air that hit my face as I opened the door was warm - it had probably been run this morning.  The cups on top had water on them.  I got in the drawer for a clean dish towel, as I was uncertain when our current one had taken up residence on the stove handle.  I pulled one from the bottom of the stack, knowing they didn't often get used.  I smelled it to make sure it didn't smell stale, like the inside of the drawer.

The majority of our dishes and kitchen supplies had come from my grandmother's house after she passed in 2009.  This particular dish towel smelt exactly like her house - a smell I never thought I would be privy to again.  There were no specific memories, just an overwhelming sense of utter sadness and despair. 

I'd managed to collect myself before Em got home, but as I recollected my day, it seemed too important a thing to leave out.  Of course, that brought everything around again, and I confessed something to her that I've never told anyone.  Something that I am more ashamed of than anything in my life.  And she accepted my confession with grace, love, and understanding. 

I am so undeserving.

Free as a bird!

I have a rare thing today:  a free Saturday.  Not just a Saturday, but a whole weekend actually.  Although I don't work, there's still lots going on.  On the list include:

• Night out with my good friend Tim - done!
• Shopping with Tim for new clothes - done!
• Closing out my Thirty One Fundraiser - done!
• Shopping for Ethiopia with Em
• Baseball game (second to last one of the season)
• Church on Sunday
• Meeting with two ladies about Ethiopia
• Fall kick off event at my other church
• Loving some kids at St. Johns
• Preparing for the week ahead
• Bowling and general merry-making with friends

There's also some not fun things on that list like:

• Clean the bathroom
• Vacuum
• Do the dishes
• Shop for groceries
• Figure out meals for the next week or two

So far, though, things are shaping up nicely.  Although I'm making sure to pack this weekend full of things I want to do, I probably really should take a small break and relax.  Starting next week, I'm training in another department at work, which will increase my weekly hours closer to 40.  I'm excited about it but it will leave less time for planning for after school, which is really my main focus these days.  Next week 20 elementary school students (in groups at least) are responsible for making their own snack, as well as getting along with each other and trying not to get swim privledges taken away from them.  Phew!

Sitting down to look at it all makes me feel busy but blessed.  Time to start checking things off that list - hopefully Irene doesn't have any remnants that ruin baseball plans (we're not supposed to get anything but I guess you never can tell).

Full stomach, full life

I don't know what it was but I came home last night feeling more fully myself than I have in a while.  It was during the drive home from a dinner gathering that I realized how satisfied and light and fulfilled I felt.  I felt known and accepted and heard.

The last few days have been a whirlwind of activity.  I've worked everyday this week (a blessing) teaching babysitting camp at the Rec center.  It's been a little stressful because the lessons had some holes in them - I didn't plan the camp and didn't get to see the layout of it until about 20 minutes before kids starting showing up on Monday.  Luckily it's a small group and they're flexible and forgiving and tell me that they're bored so we can cook up something fun.

Tuesday night I had dinner with a church friend of mine, Trisha, who's approximately 40 years older than I am.  I love meeting with her and hearing her take on life and God.  She often feeds my heart and my stomach well and getting to watch her and her husband interact is always a blessing.  They have been married for the same amount of time as our age is different.  I am so glad we've been able to connect outside of church.

Yesterday I had a job interview in the morning as a public relations secretary with the city school district.  I really have no idea how it went, but I know I'll be placed in a job that suits me.  All I can do is keep applying and keep interviewing.  Despite the hectic feeling of the day, I got to end it with a lovely dinner at the house of one of the families from the Rec center.

The Reedy's are such a lovely addition to this area.  They have two girls that I fell in love with the moment I met them.  (Their pictures were among the first hung at my previous cube job).  Both the girls are so lively and friendly and beautiful and happy and full of laughter.  Just seeing them brightens my day.  Last night included lots of laughter and sharing (a lot of that included the girls sharing their toys with me), and I left feeling uplifted.  I have never gotten a good chance to know the adult Reedy's but I feel this could be the beginning of something wonderful.

It seems lately that good dinners have equaled good conversations. 

This busy week mostly ends for me tonight with the Harry Potter midnight showing.  Em and I have decided we must be there.

Source

The first book came out in 1999, when I was in middle school, and the movie pandemonium started in 2001.  I feel especially kindred to the last HP movie, as the last book was released shortly after Em's and my B&N store opened (it actually caused us to open early).  While I've never read the books I do enjoy going to see the movies, and I certainly wouldn't miss this one.

Cheers to full lives and late night movies.

A Rare Free Weekend

I had this entire weekend off!  The reason:  I had a wedding Sunday (update soon) that I originally thought was Saturday, so I had taken Saturday off to attend and Sunday to recover.  Although the dates got mixed up, I thoroughly enjoyed finding things to do with Em, who also had a rare Saturday off.

At the suggestion of my friend Bekah, we headed to the civic center for the "Monster Flea Market" in search of bar stools.  We have a small bar in the living room that we want stools for to help provide extra seating.  Em and I both slept in till 11am (glorious!) and hit the road about noon.  While no bar stools were in sight, the event didn't disappoint.



As soon as we walked in, this is what we saw...



Reliving her childhood



Super thirsty



LaserDisks...do players for this still exist?

People watching is my favorite and never disappoints

The day's spoils

In our adventure, Em and I came across a vendor with at least 1000 records for sale.  We spent a good bit of time sifting though boxes pulling out ones that struck our fancy, deciding to use them as wall art.  We were careful to pick out ones we'd want to listen to also, and made a pit stop by my house to see if my old record player worked.  (It doesn't and even if it did, it only plays 45s).  So, we're on the lookout for a used, working record player for the apartment.  Anyone have any leads?

The flea market was a great Saturday adventure and the evening ended with Chris, a high school friend of Em's coming over.  We ordered pizza and were treated to a night of good friends and music.

I should take more Saturdays off...

TGIFriday the 13th

I'm not superstitious.  I'll take care not to walk under a ladder for safety reasons and I'll do my best to avoid black cats because I'm allergic, but not because I'm superstitious.  All told, this Friday the 13th was pretty normal.  I awoke at 6am and went about regular routines up until the time I exited the kitchen to watch the morning weather.  Much to my surprise and revultion, I watch something scurry quickly from under the kitchen table in the direction of the coat closet.

I got enough of a view of it to know it wasn't a mouse; at first I actually thought it was a cockroach.  Few things are more undesireable than a four (or more) legged creature scurring quickly out of view.  Despite my disgust, I really wanted to watch the weather so I decided to deal with it later.  I took my normal seat (feet up mind you) for a few minutes of precieved normalcy. 


Probably the brother to our visitor

Em was still sleeping, and I wasn't sure if I should wake her before I left to alert her of our new temporary tenant.  In an effort to control the situation, I began, armed with a tupperware container, to search various closets.  I'd put shoes on in hopes of bringing the creature to a swift end, but I'd seen how fast it was and had prepared myself to jump out of the way if the situation called for such action.
Without luck in locating our new friend, I continued about my daily routine, waiting for Em to wake so I could brief her.  It wasn't two minutes after she emerged that I spotted the illusive critter hanging out by the baseboard outside kitchen.  I utilized some sneaky ninja moves to walk past him and grab the tupperware (I'd have prefered to let the poor thing go outside rather than outright squishing him - at this point we were practically old friends). 

The result:

Not long after this photo was taken a phonebook was added on top for good measure.  I was running behind for work and we thought Bruce, the apartment maintanence man, would be by that morning and be willing to ablidge two female tenants.  Bruce, however, got tied up and had to reschedule and poor Em did the deed herself (my hero!)

The rest of the day consisted of work (something about Friday the 13th must have given people an unspoken right to be extra mean), and an impromptu concert with my good friend Bekah.

Amos Lee was headlining at the Down by the River Festival Friday night and Bekah was given two tickets to go.  We arrived a few hours before he was scheduled to begin, and much to my surprise I discovered Chris Thile from Nickel Creek breaking it down on stage.  Awesome.

Not a super great picture but I promise he's up there.

The rain, which had been pretty torential just a few hours before, held off for the entirity of the event.  Bekah and I chatted up some new friends we invited to sit with us since they were alone.  The evening ended at a local bar for drinks with said new friends and was a great success.

Despite the connotations, I don't believe Friday the 13th has to be a bad thing.

What a weekend

This weekend has been an adventure in cooking, and by weekend I really mean Friday evening/Saturday morning, since that's pretty much all the weekend I get these days.  I arrived at the apartment Friday night a little disappointed, as I had originally planned to hit the gym after work but had forgotten to charge my iPod (any excuse, right?)  Em was working late and that was all I'd plan to get into, but once I was home I really didn't see the point in leaving again and going back the way I came (gas prices - another excuse).

I had made chocolate chip muffins the other night after work and found the exercise surprisingly relaxing.  I've always wanted to be able to cook from scratch and I felt a little like Julie and Julia (you know, cube job, cooking...we're the same).  I pulled out my cookbook and flipped to "Appetizers/Snacks," which I figured was a good place to start since it was nearly 6pm and I hadn't even thought about dinner.  I found an easy recipe for hummus, which I've had a few times but am still trying to reach that I-love-it level.

Looking at the ingredients I discovered I owned a grand total of 2 (out of 10), so as it turns out a trip to Kroger was in order.  A few of the things on the list alluded my grasp, one of which was lemon juice which ended up being in the juice aisle of all places.  The other was something called tahini (pronounced tah-HE-knee).  It's a sesame paste, and the cookbook said it was

"...widely available in supermarkets.  Your best bet is to search the condiment aisle or the ethnic food section of the store - but if you don't have any luck, don't be afraid to ask for help." 

So, three associates and five aisles later, we finally found the elusive tahini in the Mediterranean section.  (This is after I took a fair amount of time reading all the S's and T's of every brand of condiment in the condiment aisle). 

I finally made it home with my $30 worth of spoils.

Buying the ingredients was by far the worst part, and the making of the hummus just included putting it in a blender, moving the knob to the 1, and waiting until smooth.  Golden.

Friday night I also had my first experience boiling eggs (lame, I know).  I was a little worried because I like to be sure things are cooked completely and you can't do that with boiled eggs.  Things did turn out well, and when I cut though them things were solid so I was pleased.  I preceded to use two of them to decorate my salad (which I ate from a mixing bowl) when I finally had dinner at 9pm.  And I got a pretty sweet picture of my eggs before they met their hot water end.

Saturday Em and I tried our hand at smoothie making.  I had gotten most of the ingredients already, and I'll admit my motives were selfish, as I hate to waste money but was afraid my yogurt would expire before I wanted to eat it.  Smoothies are perhaps the easiest things to make...ever.  Again, it was really a question of putting things in the blender and pushing go until it's smooth.  (Kyle gives the best presents).

Not my smoothie

Although this isn't a real life photo, our drinks were pretty tasty and Em and I got to spend the morning together.  We're cute.  Then we both went to jobs we tolerate and didn't see each other until she was running out the door Sunday morning without her keys.  All in all, a very good weekend.

30 before 30

To live is so startling it leaves little time for anything else.  ~Emily Dickinson

It's finally here, my 30 before 30!  This is something my real life friend at emyselfandi started last year and, without having a blog to post to, I particpated in spirit.  But now I have a blog and something to keep me accountable.  So here we go:

1. Grow my hair to my waist
2. Learn to play the cello
3. Milk a cow
4. Swim with dolphins
5. Go to Mardi Gras
6. Organize my photos and scrapbook as appropriate
7. Take a road trip across the country 
8. Keep a regular journal and write in it at least once a week for a year
9. Take a digital photography class
10. Help build a house
11. Attend a multi-day music festival like Bonnaroo or Warped Tour
12. Learn another language
13. See the Arnolfini Portrait in person
14. Read one book every week for a year
15. Learn to paint
16. Go to the Kentucky Derby and wear a big hat
17. Go to the Olympics
18. See the Aurora Borealis in person
19. Attend an Indian wedding ceremony
20. Visit Haiti, Italy, and Africa
21. Take a dance class at a studio in New York
22. Learn to crab and then use my skills
23. Drive the entirety of the Pan American highway
24. Spend time working/volunteering in an orphanage overseas
25. Ride in a hot air balloon
26. See all the classic movies in AFI's top 100 movies
27. Fly by myself
28. Go on a cruise
29. See street art being produced
30. Build a piece of furniture

Here's the link to Em's blog - check her list out too!  Want to play along?  Leave a comment with a link to your list (or the list itself).

Happy living!


My new friend Tom

I've been told that while living on your own, you often acquire more stuff than you realize or desire.  I learned this first hand when I made that final move from college and discovered I had more shoes, clothes, and furniture than I knew what to do with.

But one piece of "furniture" I thought I'd never acquire - a drum.  Em came home one night last week heavy laden with a mid tom from a drum set.  A co-worker had given it to her stating someone was giving it away and he thought she might like it.

Tom has seemed to find a permanent residence in the space between the kitchen table and the desk in the entry way/living room/dining area of the apartment.  I've taken to beating on him when I need luck while Em finds it more therapeutic to give him a few knocks when she's frustrated.  Who knew his rustic appearance and baritone voice would have won us over so easily.

Moving out, I knew I'd acquire more material things than I wanted, which is a bit annoying as I was hoping moving into a smaller place would help me downsize and be more choosy when making purchases.  Despite how it might sound, Tom is a welcome addition to our new place.  (I'm thinking we should get visitors to sign him in Sharpie).  After all, it's not often a new guy comes into your life, is always there when you need him, and willing sits while you beat him.  I think this could be the start of a beautiful relationship.

Indecision

I woke up composing this entry this morning, and although that was 12 hours ago and I know it's not going to be at all like it started this morning, the fact that I've been thinking about it that long probably means it really needs to be written. 

I need a new job.  I know you're thinking "Already?  But didn't you just start this job and think it was the best thing ever?"  The answer is yes to both questions.  I guess it just goes to show you don't know what you're in for, or what you like, until you try it.  But I now know I don't like this.

I'm not used to having to meet numbers, and I've never had a job that requires me to sit for hours on end.  I'm used to planning and executing things, moving around, being proactive and interacting face to face with customers.  The desire to call in for work today started at 10pm last night - but I made it though all 8 hours (but just barely).  The pull to leave early each day weighs on me and while I want more than anything to follow in the steps of one of my coworkers who just hasn't shown up for work in the last week, I just don't have it in me.  My parents both have strong work ethics and (luckily) I inherited that trait.

Although he got up every day and kept plugging away at it, my dad hated his job and beginning probably as soon as I have memories I remember him telling me to get a job I liked.  That has become my mantra and, as a result, it might make it seem like I'm being a princess about my job(s).  But really, the thought of being roped into a work experience just for the benefits terrifies me.  I saw a lot of things in my dad after he retired that I never saw in him as a working adult and I don't want it to take 35 or 40 years of working for me to enjoy the majority of my waking hours.  I want to be fulfilled and make a difference and feel good about getting up in the morning.

I currently don't feel that.

So, starting tomorrow I'm updating that resume and I'm putting out feelers for something relating to my degree.  And I'm going to try my hardest not to be afraid of getting to start over somewhere new (because chances of me finding anything in my small hometown are shrinking more as time goes on).  Em and I talked about it last night and agreed that it never hurts to try and see where things go.  Wish me luck!

New year, new adventures

"It's about choosing your path and being committed to it" -Mary Horowitz, All About Steve

I started this blog to document all the crazy things associated with living.  We live 98% of our lives between walls, whether physical or metaphorical, and I wanted this to be a small piece of the electronic world where I could leave my thoughts - and you could leave yours.

I recently changed the physical walls I live between and hope to use this to document all the crazy goings on.  At 24 I am finally out there, on my own, trying my hardest to be an adult.  Tonight marks the second night in a new apartment.  New apartment, new roommate, new job, new...life.  Last night, new roommate Em and I watched a movie and drank some wine to christen our new space.  Super cute and super fun. 

Let's start this first entry putting out there some of the expectations I have about this new stage. 
1.  We're going have people over like every night.
2.  I'm going to discover I have an natural inclination toward cooking and/or baking.
3.  We are not going to sit in front on the t.v. but rather expand our minds with books and deep, meaningful conversations.
4.  I will try my hand at interior decorating and, again, discover I'm very talented.
5.  Em and I will spend nights after work together, perhaps partaking in many of the above activities.
6.  This new found freedom will suddenly make me more appealing to the opposite sex.

And this is just a start.  I'm sure more expectations will surface while old ones are shattered with harsh reality checks.  Regardless, I look forward to growing in this new space.