Single in the City

Things worry me.  I am a worrier.  Perhaps because I'm Type A, so I want everything to be perfect all the time.  Perhaps because that's just who I've been made to be.

Today I'm worrying about a small two word phrase:  being single.

Maybe worried isn't exactly the most accurate term.  I don't know the most accurate term.

Some of you may know a bit about this part of my life but some of you may not.  I've been single for over four years now.  I use the word single to mean I haven't been committed to seeing just one particular person.  I've gone out with guys but I won't consider any of them to be dates.

I struggle fairly frequently in my decision to remain single (and it is that, a decision), especially when wedding season roles around and you're on the guest list of people younger than you.  I recognize life is not a contest and comparison normally gets you nowhere good, but it's inevitable most of the time.  We're human.

I realized some time ago that I was tired of playing the dating game.  I was tired of guessing and playing games, tired of trying to make sure a guy saw me in the best light so he would "fall in love with me." Habits aren't broken over night and I'll admit that a fair amount of my life (thought life included) revolves around guys - after all I am female - but now it is considerably less so than four years ago.

Society places a lot of pressure on teens and twentysomethings these days to be attached.  How do you figure out who you if you are attached to another person?  I don't mean in genuine relationship with people but in the context of a physical and emotional relationship with one other main person.  I read a blog last night written a while ago about the movie Bridesmaids.  Out of all the words and sentences, one in particular stuck out to me:

Singleness continues to be seen both outside and inside the church as a waystation, a stopping point between college and marriage on the path toward real adulthood and happiness.  (Read the full blog post here)

How often have I felt that way?  That I'm not a true adult till I'm married, or that I can't be fully happy until I find that someone else to share life with?

Free as a bird!

I have a rare thing today:  a free Saturday.  Not just a Saturday, but a whole weekend actually.  Although I don't work, there's still lots going on.  On the list include:

• Night out with my good friend Tim - done!
• Shopping with Tim for new clothes - done!
• Closing out my Thirty One Fundraiser - done!
• Shopping for Ethiopia with Em
• Baseball game (second to last one of the season)
• Church on Sunday
• Meeting with two ladies about Ethiopia
• Fall kick off event at my other church
• Loving some kids at St. Johns
• Preparing for the week ahead
• Bowling and general merry-making with friends

There's also some not fun things on that list like:

• Clean the bathroom
• Vacuum
• Do the dishes
• Shop for groceries
• Figure out meals for the next week or two

So far, though, things are shaping up nicely.  Although I'm making sure to pack this weekend full of things I want to do, I probably really should take a small break and relax.  Starting next week, I'm training in another department at work, which will increase my weekly hours closer to 40.  I'm excited about it but it will leave less time for planning for after school, which is really my main focus these days.  Next week 20 elementary school students (in groups at least) are responsible for making their own snack, as well as getting along with each other and trying not to get swim privledges taken away from them.  Phew!

Sitting down to look at it all makes me feel busy but blessed.  Time to start checking things off that list - hopefully Irene doesn't have any remnants that ruin baseball plans (we're not supposed to get anything but I guess you never can tell).

In the Blink of an Eye

It's been over a month since my last post.  I've opened a window and hoped to write many times but the words just didn't come.  And once the end of July hit life hit full swing and I couldn't seem to find the time to sit and fight the words onto the page.  So here's a brief recap of the super fast month that was August.

At the end of July, my church had their second annual VBS/Day Camp.  We opened it up to many churches and organizations in the area, as well as the Nepali church that meets on Sundays next door to us.  We had a great turn out and I was blessed to be a part of the planning and teaching.



These kids were such a joy to be around and I loved getting to spend time with each of them.  We're waiting to see the doors the Lord is going to open with these kids and our church.

At the beginning of August I kicked off my fundraiser for Ethiopia.  A friend of mine who sells Thirty One products offered to host a party for me and donate all the proceeds toward my trip.  We had a party on the 20th and so far have had a good run with things.  All orders have to be in by Friday so we'll see what the final outcome is.

Along with the fundraiser, I also made a commitment to not spend any extra money until my trip in October.  So far I'm doing pretty well with it, only dropping a dollar at a baseball game Monday night for a hot dog.  I did spend some for the party last weekend to make sure we had some food but all the extras I'm eating.  :)

The middle of August brought about the last few weeks of summer camp.  With a lot of our staff heading back to school, everyone on the schedule was working overtime for two weeks to keep our day camp with 40+ kids appropriately staffed.  It was fun, but I'm glad it's over.  Forty kids is a lot to deal with, and while the trips were fun and the kids were fun, I'm looking forward to settling into a routine.

This week school started, so that means the after school program at work did to.  This year I'm in charge of that program, planning and organizing and coordinating everything those kids do from the time they arrive to the time parents pick them up.  Right now we have 21 kids but it's possible we'll get a few more next week.  That's still a lot of kids, but much more doable than forty!

This part of my job I really like actually.  Sometimes the kids are a little crazy and don't listen really well but it's all worth it.  Yesterday I was in the pool with a little girl in a life jacket (got to have an adult within arm's reach at all times) and we were going through the lazy river.  When we finished I asked her if she wanted to go down the slide or through the lazy river again.  Her answer: "I wanna go through the crazy river."  Love it!

Hopefully things are going to start slowing down here soon.  I've finally done all the laundry in the last two days, the sink is empty, I can see my floor, and all the stacks on the coffee table are at least organized.  Life is good!