Monday, August 29, 2011

Single in the City

Things worry me.  I am a worrier.  Perhaps because I'm Type A, so I want everything to be perfect all the time.  Perhaps because that's just who I've been made to be.

Today I'm worrying about a small two word phrase:  being single.

Maybe worried isn't exactly the most accurate term.  I don't know the most accurate term.

Some of you may know a bit about this part of my life but some of you may not.  I've been single for over four years now.  I use the word single to mean I haven't been committed to seeing just one particular person.  I've gone out with guys but I won't consider any of them to be dates.

I struggle fairly frequently in my decision to remain single (and it is that, a decision), especially when wedding season roles around and you're on the guest list of people younger than you.  I recognize life is not a contest and comparison normally gets you nowhere good, but it's inevitable most of the time.  We're human.

I realized some time ago that I was tired of playing the dating game.  I was tired of guessing and playing games, tired of trying to make sure a guy saw me in the best light so he would "fall in love with me." Habits aren't broken over night and I'll admit that a fair amount of my life (thought life included) revolves around guys - after all I am female - but now it is considerably less so than four years ago.

Society places a lot of pressure on teens and twentysomethings these days to be attached.  How do you figure out who you if you are attached to another person?  I don't mean in genuine relationship with people but in the context of a physical and emotional relationship with one other main person.  I read a blog last night written a while ago about the movie Bridesmaids.  Out of all the words and sentences, one in particular stuck out to me:

Singleness continues to be seen both outside and inside the church as a waystation, a stopping point between college and marriage on the path toward real adulthood and happiness.  (Read the full blog post here)

How often have I felt that way?  That I'm not a true adult till I'm married, or that I can't be fully happy until I find that someone else to share life with?

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