James 1:27

This week has felt crazy.  I've had things going on before and after work almost every day and it wasn't until Thursday that I got back the apartment before 11pm.  Although the days felt long and I was tired by their end, there really wasn't anything special about them.  Most of the activities were just life.  But it sure felt like I had a lot of life pushed into only a few days.

One of the more notable events occured on Tuesday evening, when I met with the nurses at RMH to pack 6.5 totes for approximately 5 hours. 

With our 6 team members, we're able to bring a total of 12 totes, each weighing in at 50 pounds a piece.  Once we get on the ground in Ethiopia, we'll have over a ton of supplies with us. 

I'm holding my heart out but clutching it too - Nickel Creek "Reasons Why"

This part of the process affected me more than I thought it would.  I've been excited about the trip from day 1, looking forward to experiencing something new, fulfilling a dream I've had for a long time, and learning many new things.  But seeing some of the things we're taking, and hear what some of them could be used for, really struck a chord with me.  I knew this trip would be hard.  There's no denying that.  But having talked about it with some of the nurses, it has potential to be a lot harder than I could have thought.  Of course, the unknown leaves things open to your imagination, which often translates (for me at least) to thinking of the mroe than worst case senerio.

I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you - John 14:18

It's a bit like the beginning of a new relationship.  The honeymoon phase is gone and its almost like I'm done dreaming.  Reality is starting to set in and I realize this is going to be hard.  Perhaps the hardest thing I've ever done thus far in my life.  I will have to physically put myself lower than probably everyone that comes to the clinic, something I've never had to really do before.  I'm going to have to work hard and learn hard and pray hard and play hard.  And I'm a little scared.  What if I discover I can't do it (anything medical) and I hate it (Africa) and I just want to go home?  What if I fail?  I'm not sure that I really can fail because I know God is preparing and using each of us differently.  And I know this is a trip I need to go on.  I've known that since March when the idea first started floating around.

I don't know what's going to happen, but I do know my senses are going to be assailed in a way they never have been before.  Not to mention my emotions and my spirit.  But I also know that my God is a loving God and is holding me through all of the pre-trip emotions and unexpectedness and dependency.  And I know he is growing me (I might be feeling some growing pains!)  But I'll be walking taller soon, more confident too I'm sure.

The King will reply, 'Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.' - Matthew 25:40

Life is funny

I'm sitting at a cube at work, off the clock but not at home because I have to teach later and it's pointless to use time and gas to go home when I'll just have to turn around again.  I'm eating butternut squash soup (delicious!) that takes me back to Ireland and all those lovely soups and bread we ate.  Too bad I don't have any bread.

While I was sitting here I decided to blog search and see what else is out there, hoping to learn a bit more about how to make this more interesting for my few readers, and also hoping to find something out there worth reading.  And I stumbled across something quite coincidental.

Let me begin by saying that yesterday in between meetings I found myself in Barnes and Noble looking for a Bible study of some sort.  It's been a while since I've participated in one and I know with some upcoming life events I really need to make a conscious effort to put my faith first and foremost.  I wandered to the Christian Inspiration section and looked at all the shelves, sometimes picking up titles by my favorite authors or things I'd seen other people reading.  It wasn't until my third round that I saw a title - Grace for the Good Girl. 

Source

The title struck me first off.  I've always considered myself a "good girl."  I focused on my school work and worked hard to make my parents happy and proud.  I always tried to do "the right thing" and didn't do things that made people question me or my motives.  Because of who I am naturally, I find it hard sometimes to accept Jesus's sacrifice for me.  I didn't think I need saving because I'm not a "bad person" (I still struggle with these thoughts sometimes).  I read the first pages of the book in the store before I bought it, and I'm excited to start it in earnest.

What makes this story more interesting is that, just a few minutes ago, I checked one of my real life friends blogs.  E has an excellent writing style and is funny and real and I check in on her virtually every day.  So I decided to see what blogs she reads.  I found one listed under her "inspiration and faith" section called Chatting at the Sky.  When I arrived at the opening page, the first image I see is one of the cover of my new book.  Weird, I thought.  She must have just bought it too.

Wrong.  She's the author.

What are the chances?  (Probably about the same as my airman pen pal has of being neighbors with the brother of one of my high school best friends - yeah, that happened too).

I don't know if that means there's something especially good in this book and God wanted to put it forefront in my mind, or if it was just a happy accident.  But, with all that said, sounds like it's time for me to open that book now.

The Sound of Silence

I walked out of my apartment this afternoon to go to work and stopped.  For the first time all summer, there was silence.  It was a little shocking to be honest, as this must have been the locust year.  All season there's been noise, no matter the hour, of these insects loudly proclaiming their presence.  I'm not complaining - it's the sound of summer.  But to have it stopped so suddenly, I guess you never really know what you have till its gone.

Unfortunately the silence outside has no comparable resonance in my life right now.  There are meetings at work, conference calls, two months worth of activity planning, shopping and packing and laundry, new youth groups to start and familiar ones with which to reacquaint myself.  Even though the summer might not have been all I wanted it to be, it was wonderful and I'm going to miss the weather, the lazy pace of life.

So, to commemorate Summer 2011, some cell phone photos for your viewing pleasure.

Engaged 6.27.11

The Fair's in town - June 2011

Sunset from the mountain top July 2011

Moth outside work July 2011

Patriotism

Putt putt poses August 2011

Second to last game of the season August 2011

Awesome presentation on some yummy Chinese food Sept 2011

Single in the City

Things worry me.  I am a worrier.  Perhaps because I'm Type A, so I want everything to be perfect all the time.  Perhaps because that's just who I've been made to be.

Today I'm worrying about a small two word phrase:  being single.

Maybe worried isn't exactly the most accurate term.  I don't know the most accurate term.

Some of you may know a bit about this part of my life but some of you may not.  I've been single for over four years now.  I use the word single to mean I haven't been committed to seeing just one particular person.  I've gone out with guys but I won't consider any of them to be dates.

I struggle fairly frequently in my decision to remain single (and it is that, a decision), especially when wedding season roles around and you're on the guest list of people younger than you.  I recognize life is not a contest and comparison normally gets you nowhere good, but it's inevitable most of the time.  We're human.

I realized some time ago that I was tired of playing the dating game.  I was tired of guessing and playing games, tired of trying to make sure a guy saw me in the best light so he would "fall in love with me." Habits aren't broken over night and I'll admit that a fair amount of my life (thought life included) revolves around guys - after all I am female - but now it is considerably less so than four years ago.

Society places a lot of pressure on teens and twentysomethings these days to be attached.  How do you figure out who you if you are attached to another person?  I don't mean in genuine relationship with people but in the context of a physical and emotional relationship with one other main person.  I read a blog last night written a while ago about the movie Bridesmaids.  Out of all the words and sentences, one in particular stuck out to me:

Singleness continues to be seen both outside and inside the church as a waystation, a stopping point between college and marriage on the path toward real adulthood and happiness.  (Read the full blog post here)

How often have I felt that way?  That I'm not a true adult till I'm married, or that I can't be fully happy until I find that someone else to share life with?

Free as a bird!

I have a rare thing today:  a free Saturday.  Not just a Saturday, but a whole weekend actually.  Although I don't work, there's still lots going on.  On the list include:

• Night out with my good friend Tim - done!
• Shopping with Tim for new clothes - done!
• Closing out my Thirty One Fundraiser - done!
• Shopping for Ethiopia with Em
• Baseball game (second to last one of the season)
• Church on Sunday
• Meeting with two ladies about Ethiopia
• Fall kick off event at my other church
• Loving some kids at St. Johns
• Preparing for the week ahead
• Bowling and general merry-making with friends

There's also some not fun things on that list like:

• Clean the bathroom
• Vacuum
• Do the dishes
• Shop for groceries
• Figure out meals for the next week or two

So far, though, things are shaping up nicely.  Although I'm making sure to pack this weekend full of things I want to do, I probably really should take a small break and relax.  Starting next week, I'm training in another department at work, which will increase my weekly hours closer to 40.  I'm excited about it but it will leave less time for planning for after school, which is really my main focus these days.  Next week 20 elementary school students (in groups at least) are responsible for making their own snack, as well as getting along with each other and trying not to get swim privledges taken away from them.  Phew!

Sitting down to look at it all makes me feel busy but blessed.  Time to start checking things off that list - hopefully Irene doesn't have any remnants that ruin baseball plans (we're not supposed to get anything but I guess you never can tell).

In the Blink of an Eye

It's been over a month since my last post.  I've opened a window and hoped to write many times but the words just didn't come.  And once the end of July hit life hit full swing and I couldn't seem to find the time to sit and fight the words onto the page.  So here's a brief recap of the super fast month that was August.

At the end of July, my church had their second annual VBS/Day Camp.  We opened it up to many churches and organizations in the area, as well as the Nepali church that meets on Sundays next door to us.  We had a great turn out and I was blessed to be a part of the planning and teaching.



These kids were such a joy to be around and I loved getting to spend time with each of them.  We're waiting to see the doors the Lord is going to open with these kids and our church.

At the beginning of August I kicked off my fundraiser for Ethiopia.  A friend of mine who sells Thirty One products offered to host a party for me and donate all the proceeds toward my trip.  We had a party on the 20th and so far have had a good run with things.  All orders have to be in by Friday so we'll see what the final outcome is.

Along with the fundraiser, I also made a commitment to not spend any extra money until my trip in October.  So far I'm doing pretty well with it, only dropping a dollar at a baseball game Monday night for a hot dog.  I did spend some for the party last weekend to make sure we had some food but all the extras I'm eating.  :)

The middle of August brought about the last few weeks of summer camp.  With a lot of our staff heading back to school, everyone on the schedule was working overtime for two weeks to keep our day camp with 40+ kids appropriately staffed.  It was fun, but I'm glad it's over.  Forty kids is a lot to deal with, and while the trips were fun and the kids were fun, I'm looking forward to settling into a routine.

This week school started, so that means the after school program at work did to.  This year I'm in charge of that program, planning and organizing and coordinating everything those kids do from the time they arrive to the time parents pick them up.  Right now we have 21 kids but it's possible we'll get a few more next week.  That's still a lot of kids, but much more doable than forty!

This part of my job I really like actually.  Sometimes the kids are a little crazy and don't listen really well but it's all worth it.  Yesterday I was in the pool with a little girl in a life jacket (got to have an adult within arm's reach at all times) and we were going through the lazy river.  When we finished I asked her if she wanted to go down the slide or through the lazy river again.  Her answer: "I wanna go through the crazy river."  Love it!

Hopefully things are going to start slowing down here soon.  I've finally done all the laundry in the last two days, the sink is empty, I can see my floor, and all the stacks on the coffee table are at least organized.  Life is good!

Leap of faith

It's funny, I didn't sit down on this couch after dinner last night with the intention of making this decision.  It's one I've thought about for a long time but I was still on the fence for a while.  First, perhaps, I should explain.

Around the first of the year, I fell in love.  He's the most beautiful boy I've ever laid eyes on, and it only took one look from him to steal my heart.  His name is Juddah.



He has these huge eyes that just light up whenever he looks at you, and his smile will make your heart flutter every time.  Juddah is just here in the USA for a short amount of time but the story of how he got here is amazing.

Juddah's hometown is in Korah, Ethiopia, a city not far outside the capital of Addis Ababa.  What makes Korah unique is the fact that it houses the city's landfill.  Korah is a city populated by the undesirables of society - widows, orphans, people affected by HIV/AIDS and Leprosy - who make their living by foraging through the trash heap, looking for food.





Baby Juddah was found by Cherrie, a missionary with Project 61, lying on top of urine soaked rags with his twin sister Sarah.  The infants felt so cold, Cherrie thought they were both dead, but after some warmth and care from Cherrie and her friend, the twins opened their eyes.  It was obvious that something was different about baby Juddah - his head looked too big.  It turns out he had a life threatening condition called hydrocephalus, literally, water on the brain.

Juddah was granted a medical visa and a chance at life in the States.  This is the first visa of it's kind for someone in Korah in 10 years.  The local Carilion Clinic has done surgery on Juddah for free, and he is now resting comfortably at home with Cherrie in Oregon until he is able to return to Ethiopia to live with his mother, grandmother, twin and 5-year old sibling.

During his time locally for surgery, Cherrie lived with a family from our church, and had mentioned that some of the Carilion staff was taking a medical missions trip.  While I desperately wanted to go, I'm not medically trained and I don't even like going to the doctor (who does, right?).  I didn't think I'd be given access to go.  But after talking with Cherrie and attending an informational meeting in May, I was told I would be welcome to come along. 

The planning has hit some bumps along the way and our team of 10 or more is now down to 4.  I was waiting to fill out my application and arrange to spend more than $3200 in travel expenses until I read Cherrie's blog last night.  Only 2 non-medical spots were still available!  I grabbed my wallet faster than I ever have before and sent in my non-refundable application fee and arranged to have my references send in papers.  All in all a rushed feeling but I woke up this morning feeling very at peace about all of it.  I have wanted to go to Africa since I was 12, and I feel like this could be it.  God is calling me here for something.  Another country, in more poverty and disease than I've ever seen in my life.  And all because one little boy looked at me.



All photos courtsey of Cherrie Cornish and her blog.