Friday, March 18, 2011

Lessons on Friday?

When I first started this blog I had high hopes.  I wanted to write frequently and be totally honest about life and my view of it.  Seeing as how the first one has fallen by the wayside, let's move on, shall we?

Today I'm feeling moody, which includes (depending on when you ask me) hopeful, lonely, rejected, productive and expectant.  I always have high hopes for weekend time off, which comes so few and far between (and by that I mean once a week of course).  This Friday has been everything I haven't expected.  So what have I done today?  After I got off work I went walking for 30 minutes around the neighborhood, swept the balcony (finally ridding it of those fall leaves to fully welcome spring on Sunday), finished a book, started a second, reheated a leftover dinner from Tuesday night, finished the last of a bottle of wine, took a bubble bath, and finished the gifts I'll give to my ballet class on Monday.  All this in the span of 5 hours.  I've got the productive yet lonely feeling down pat.

It's not that I don't like time to myself, everyone needs it and I enjoy mine like anyone else.  But I seem to feel best when I have a lot going on, scheduled back to back with things to do and people to see.  Not to mention that Friday night does not seem like a natural day to have "me time".  I want to be out, seeing friends or having people over, but lately it hasn't seemed to work that way.  At least I got stuff done, and while I fear tomorrow night might be a close second to this evening, maybe I'll finally get those pictures hung in my room.

This is not meant to be a poor-me post.  I recognize that it's important to learn how to live with yourself and be still and rest.  I'm just not very good at it most of the time.  Here's to learning something new every day.

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